The Death of Mr Chuckles                  [music index]

Mr Chuckles did not mean to die
While tying a balloon into a fat poodle
Thought the dog would burst in advance of a heart
That should’ve lasted as long as his father’s
Longer as left unused

Mr Chuckles, Mr Chuckles, Mr Chuckles
Mr Chuckles, Mr Chuckles, Mr Chuckles
Mr Chuckles, Mr Chuckles had gone home
To no one and the soaps that make him cry
Over Marks’ meat pie
And a single serving of custard

The children were laughing
They thought he was acting and banged on his heart
Like at a conman’s door
It was only when Chuckles had turned to off-purple
That the mums relinquished their chardonnays

Mr Chuckles, Mr Chuckles, Mr Chuckles
Mr Chuckles, Mr Chuckles, Mr Chuckles
Mr Chuckles, Mr Chuckles had gone home
To no one and the soaps that make him cry
Over Marks’ meat pie
And a single serving of custard

If only he’d gone to number thirty
Where Miss Smith would’ve gladly got dirty
Having loved from afar his proboscis